Top 7 List – Ways to Never Get a Raise

1. Always have an excuse…

“But it was all Bobby’s fault!”

We’ve all used excuses to justify our actions, whether it’s to justify losing that account, or to champion yourself in that fender-bender off the I-5. We’ve all done it! However, the key to your personal success in garnering a pay raise is to leave your excuses at the door. No employer likes hearing “It wasn’t my fault!” time and again. Think about it: in your own life is there anything more irritating and off-putting than a person who simply won’t own up? Nothing will set you further back than a boatload of excuses! Be strong, own up, fix the problem, and go get your raise!

2. Lie…and get caught!

It’s common sense.  Why would an employer want to reward a liar? If you break your boss’s trust, you’ll also lose their respect.  No Trust + No Respect = NO RAISE.

The point is simple: don’t lie!

3. Offend the Boss!

The same rules that apply to conversational consideration and decency in the “outside world” apply directly to the workplace. If your female boss is turning sixty on Monday and you know she’s sensitive about her age, do not comment on the fact! This rule of thumb should be used when a subject isn’t one you would broach with a respected stranger.  When in doubt, be tactful.

4. Be late to work…and only do a pretty good job

Let us hypothesize:

If you’re killing it on the sales floor and raking in boatloads of cash for your company, but you straggle in every day fifteen minutes late, it is a guarantee that you will not advance (in fact, it’d be surprising if you weren’t fired! However, we are speaking in hypotheticals…). Employers are looking to reward the well-rounded, all-inclusive employee who exhibits personal success in all areas. Besides establishing a Rockstar-esque vibe á la “I’m too sexy for my shirt,” consistent tardiness authenticates the blasé attitude that you just don’t care, and you’re not fully invested in your position. No matter how much money you’re raking in, you look like a slacker! In this instance, use that common sense! Who wants to reward a slacker?

5. Outshine your co-workers…and brag like an ass!

Humility will get you far in life, no less in a corporate environment.

It’s easy to go overboard with bragging after a big success. There’s the overwhelming excitement, that unmistakable rush of warm, personal pride; and that little measure of smugness we all feel after we’ve accomplished something great. However, it is important to remain humble. There is nothing more irritating than a person who marches around tooting their own horn! Not only will it drive a wedge between you and your co-workers, but to put it plainly, you will look like an ass. No one wants to promote an ass! So remember, take due credit, but don’t go overboard.  Save those ‘end-zone’ victory dances for the privacy of your own office!

6. Kiss ass…to the wrong person

In an ideal world, personal goals are achieved by diligence, hard work, and a little extra elbow grease. In the ideal business world, the same goes for raises. However, as we’re all aware, our worlds are less than ideal! Though it’s not generally suggested, if you ditch the hard work and go for the brown-nose approach, you absolutely must do your research beforehand! Spending six months currying the favor of the company’s most expendable executive isn’t going to get you far in the long run. Make sure that the person you’re cozying up to is in a position to reward your sycophantic behavior!

7. Spend all your time trying to be ‘Mr.’ or ‘Mrs. Popular’

If you’re spending all of your time trying to make friends in the office and become the workplace equivalent of your High School’s Homecoming King or Queen, you’ve got the wrong idea! The same is true when you assume that office popularity goes hand in hand with a higher salary. There is no correlation! Think of it this way:  your high school class clown was probably not the same student getting straight A’s and being rewarded on the Principal’s list. In most cases, they probably spent their time and effort making people laugh rather than investing in getting a good grade on their final exam (the one they needed to pass in order to graduate).  Therefore, work hard to establish yourself as a straightforward, competent employee who excels for the inherent reward of personal growth and achievement. Don’t get caught up in a popularity contest!