Newsflash: Everyone in the Organization Works for Sales!

Most companies seem to have two very distinct and opposing groups of individuals: salespeople and everyone else. There has always been a very deep line in the sand and a clear cut division between these groups. They are two opposing enemies that battle each other for supremacy within the hierarchy of the organizational chart (and most importantly, who gets the best parking spaces). There is an ongoing war that exists between “front end” arrogance and “back end” regulations. The jealousy, resentment, and clash between which group works harder and which group is more valuable seems to rear its ugly head every day. As an executive, witnessing this ongoing conflict is like watching The Bachelor for the first time… excruciating under the best of circumstances.

Here’s the deal: operations, legal, marketing, reception, accounting, purchasing, customer service, IT, human resources, etc…all work for sales! It’s time they start acting like it! You don’t need to be a clinical psychiatrist to recognize salespeople are clearly very “different” from the rest of your employees. I know they have a few small idiosyncrasies that make you occasionally want to remove their vocal chords with a dull butter knife and a pair of needle nose pliers, but they’re the ones who pay your salary! It’s also understandable that the other departments have issues with a few of the insignificant employee policies salespeople are inclined to slightly bend (Including but not limited to: religiously coming in late, taking 3 hour lunch breaks, frequently coming to work drunk, periodically snorting cocaine off the bathroom mirror, and occasionally submitting an expense report that includes $600 for a client dinner at Crazy Girls, to name a few…). Come on, these are all minor details! It’s not like non-sales personnel are “perfect” employees!

Salespeople don’t need more “policemen” telling them what NOT to do. They need more encouragement and guidance allowing them to accomplish larger goals and close more deals. Instead of complaining about the amount of salespeople’s paychecks in comparison to theirs and referring to them as whining sales monkeys, maybe they could do something to actually HELP them. For once, they could stop acting like spoiled children and start acting like team players that support every part of sales process.

I have always enjoyed hiring new salespeople because it represents growth, whereas hiring additional support staff always feels like kicking an invalid in the face: somewhat invigorating, but in most cases unnecessary. Maybe one day, when non-sales personnel recognize that their primary responsibility is behind the scenes SALES support, I will feel differently. Their job is to continually evolve your internal operating systems and processes into structures that empower rather than impede the front line’s success with customers. They need to think of themselves more like fluffers on the set of Tim Burton’s sequel, Edward Penishands…they’re there to assist and improve the performance of the “actors” so that the client gets the best possible product. That being said, I understand that the workplace will never be a cohesive environment where everyone gets along and pulls together for the greater good of the company. But maybe one day the two sides can coexist long enough so that I won’t feel like I’m the mediator of a drunken bitch fight in a Hollywood night club between Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton.